Healing with Homegirl Therapist
- monicarserene
- Jul 20, 2021
- 4 min read
A few weeks ago, I came across a TikTok by Shanta Jackson (pronounced Shon-Tay), A.K.A Homegirl Therapist, talking about the messy part of healing (you can watch it here) and boy did I feel it. Before we dive into healing, lets get to know Miss Shanta Jackson:
Shanta is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Texas and Georgia, a mother, and a wife. Shanta normalizes therapy by advocating for healing and mental health, and breaking any stigma's and stereotypes that one may have about therapy. She uses her platform to provide hope in a language that her community understands.
I knew her words needed to be shared with a larger audience so I asked if she could share a few things about healing that might help others. This is what she had to say:
"If you are anything like me, you have days that you feel super great and hopeful, and then there are those days where ya know…you just don’t feel that great. Sometimes we can’t find the words to explain to those around you, it’s just a feeling. When we are transforming into the person we want to be, we go through some dark times. And I want to normalize what that looks like. So let's chat about it! But first what is healing as it relates to your mental health. To heal is to make whole that which has been broken. Broken by trauma, by relationships, friendships, traumatic experiences, dysfunctional familial dynamics etc. We have all experienced some level of hurt, and we have to heal that before we can get to the better version of ourselves. While healing you will experience:
Tons of crying, I mean a lot, some days you don’t even know what you are crying about, you just feel the need to release
You start feeling “out of place” in your environment, you want to focus on getting better but you are surrounded by people, places and things that don’t want you to.
You start to question everything about yourself, are you even real? Do you even know who you are? Do you know what you like? Do you know how you want your life to be? I mean you will question your entire being when you get to healing yourself.
You will have days where you just don’t wanna get out of bed, come out of your room, or engage with any other human being no matter how close you may be with that person.
And here’s the thing…all of these things are okay. It is normal to have these feelings. So I don’t want you to beat yourself up because you feel like you shouldn’t be feeling what you feel. IT IS OKAYYYYYYY.
So now that we know that… what can you do about it? Of course…I am not gone leave y'all hanging like that…here are a few tips to help combat the ugly side of healing.
Use your resources
Sometimes we want to do it alone, but there will come a time that you may need a little assistance and support from others who can offer it. That could be a therapist, a close friend, a close family member, mentor, teacher, coach etc. Just someone that you can share your feelings with, and that can guide you.
Read books that help fill your cup, that teaches you about healing and growth work. Listen to podcasts that feed your soul and helps you get a better understanding of your own feelings and learning how to deal with them.
Here’s a book to get you started and a great podcast to listen too!
How to do the work: recognize your patterns, heal from your past and create yourself: by Dr. Nicole LePera
Podcast: The Homecoming Podcast with Dr. Thema and Therapy for Black Girls the Podcast
Websites to seek a therapist: therapyforblackgirls.com and openpathcollective.org (a site that offers sliding scales with rates as low as $30 a session)
Journaling
Journaling can be super beneficial it can help you keep all of those thoughts organized and in one place and out of your head! It can help relieve stress, I always suggest that people “brain dump” before bed, take 10-15 minutes before bed and literally write down every single thing that is in your head, it can be listed, bullet style, or just words…the goal is to get it out. It can also give you an opportunity self-reflect, and see how far you’ve come in your emotions and thinking!
Show Yourself Grace
Lastly, remember to show yourself grace and compassion. Listen you are in transition, you are unearthing things within you that has prevented you from showing up as your full self, and that takes a lot of time and energy. So remember to be kind to yourself, to treat yourself like someone you care about. You are the foundation for yourself; you are a mirror for how others will treat you. SO remember to show yourself some love, and continue to move forward on the journey of being the best version of yourself.
Remember this as well, your healing, how you heal, how you better yourself, will look different from those around you. Don’t compare. Focus on the path that is in front of you…it’s designed for you, and what is for you is already yours…no one around you can take that from you. Remember that. You just have to focus on doing the work, and being open to the new version of yourself.
I am telling you…choosing yourself is the best thing that you will ever do for yourself."
You can find Shanta on IG, FB, and TikTok @thehomegirltherapist www.thehomegirltherapist.com
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